Centuries before The Matrix had Neo download Kung Fu in seconds, medieval scholars had their own shortcut to learning: the Ars notoria, a manuscript of diagrams and incantations promising instant mastery of university subjects. Anne Lawrence-Mathers traces the history of this forbidden text, condemned by Thomas Aquinas in the Summa theologiae as demonic, yet copied and owned by religious institutions for centuries. Its intricate figures — geometric patterns mixed with unpronounceable angel-names — were meant to be contemplated while reciting elaborate prayers across lunar cycles, granting knowledge of grammar, rhetoric, philosophy, even medicine. The article recounts the haunting story of John of Morigny, a 14th-century monk who became addicted to the Ars notoria, suffered terrifying visions of demons demanding worship, and eventually renounced magic — only to have his replacement text burned at the University of Paris. The work survived into print in 1657 and remains a testament to the enduring fantasy that true knowledge might come without effort, without books, without years of quiet discipline.